Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Chris Mass

The eagle eyed among you may already know that I love to use this poem below every xmas. I have no inspriation at the mo, so I thought I'd get it out again! All thanks and kind permission (even though I can't ask him) to Neil Gaiman on being an amazing wordsmith.

...And have a happy xmas everybody!

Nicholas Was...

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic Caverns did not speak his language but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen in time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.


Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Computer Games..

..Are weird. When you think about what you're doing, it's just downright ..odd.

Like the other day when me and Crumb were playing Mario kart on the Nintendo Gamecube. I mean, who thought that a tiny plumber and his brother could take on a massive dragon, a gorilla and his son, and an evil version of himself and his brother whilst being in cahoots with a princess and a mobile, talkative piece of fungus?

(A) Who the hell thought it up?

(b) Why the fuck can they all drive cars?

(3) Isn't it high time we had normal proper games where everything is just fine and makes sense most of the time? Games like "Making A Cup Of Tea", "Adventures in Having A Poo", "Power-napping in the afternoon Part 2" or "Washing the Car".

Just think of thr amount of skill and endurance you would need with most of these titles. They'd blow most modern day so-called 'arcade games' out of the bloody water, probably.

Above: Pacman, pictured inside a computer eatin' loadsa ghosts and funny lookin' pills, yesterday.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?