Tuesday, May 24, 2005


I'm So Sorry For No Saviour


What can I say? Strike me down with all you have, I'm truly sorry there was no Sunday Saviour this week.

I have been a bit busy, but that is the general excuse for any kind of late correspondence to anyone, so it's an excuse. Not original, but an excuse nonetheless.

I will endeavour to provide you with a SS this coming Sunday, until then, here's the results from the Star Wars poll I did last week (not in a graph, erm, couldn't be arsed);

Mostest favourite: A tie between Return Of The Jedi and The Empire Strikes Back. A New Hope (Or 'Star Wars') was a close second.

Leastest favourite: Can you guess?... It WAS The Phantom Menace by a wide mile- margin, but one vote said that Jaws was the worst film (you know who you were!) so as the Americans would say and infact still do say, 'go figure'...

Right, I'm off to do shedloads of reports for the little darlings then look at all the other lovely blogs out there...

Keep clean, stay out of trouble. x.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Hey, teacher! Leave that kid alone (or simply stop swearing at them)

Today I reminded my year 10 class that they would be taking their GCSE exam on Monday of next week.

I proceeded to go through revision of all of the applications they would cover in the 2 and a half hour exam.

It was late in the day and my brain was slightly fried owing to the large amounts of radiation eminating from the monitors, the interactive projector and the speakers on the wall next to me.

I also had drunk any liqiud since around 10 o'clock the previous evening.

So it came as little surprise when I included the words 'websheets and spreadshites' in my torrent of helpful revision based verbal communication.

Realising my near swearing I retracted and revised my statement much to the amusement and titterings of all concerned.

I don't know, kids can be so cruel sometimes...

p.s. I am forming the data for the Star Wars based popularity chart and I must say I am very impressed with the response so far..

Thank you all you lovely scruffy bunch of nerf herders! x

Sunday, May 15, 2005


The Sunday Saviour

*Barge, shove, poke, prod punch and pinch*

"Oi! Do you mind! *scuffle* You're not allowed into the Church of Praise unless I've said so!-

Oh, it's YOU sir.. I am SO sorry.. I didn't realise.. Please, go straight on in.."

A holy hello to all you folksies.

Glad you could make it back to the Cathedral of Congratulations.

Looks like this Sunday we have a once only saviour who actually wasn't on my list until quite recently. As in, he just barged past and let himself be known to all.

But I think he's worth it. I've had to allow him in on grounds of complete worthiness and also a particular relevance at this time of the year, perhaps what the germans may refer to as him being important to the overall zeitgeist which literally means a "zit-covered guest".

Not the most in depth reportage of a saviour we've ever had, but it seriously bloody well needs to be done.

Marks out of ten please.. This week, it's:

Prayer No.11: George Lucas

Where to start?..

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... (wonderful opening fanfare)!

He singlehandedly created a cultural phenomena which has invaded all of our lives.. (This can be be seen as both a good or a bad thing from a certain point of view!)..

The original "Star Wars" nearly never got off the ground due to financial constraints in so much as film distributors wanted creative control, but Mr. Lucas fought his corner and retained the franchise in order to create the sequels...

Just name any reference from any Star Wars film and remember, it came from this guy's head fer chrissakes...

*starts to weep* I'm sorry but he is just a legend, and beleive me when I say after this, I will not be harping on about anything Star Wars-ian again.. Hyuh, reet...

Go and see the new film. (Like I need to tell you..)

"George. You're one in a million. Now let's blow this thing and go home." B+C+W x.

(Added bonus; please name your best and worst Star Wars film. Once I have the results in I can make a graph showing most popular/ least popular. Man oh boy, this is gonna be good..)

Friday, May 13, 2005

The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins- but in the heart of its strength lies weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.

Love is more than a candle.

Love can ignite the stars.

- M. Stover.


Monday, May 09, 2005


The Sunday Saviour

Yes, it's a Monday and it's late, I know I know.. I don't have any excuses here and I'm sorry for that.

Do you forgive my tardiness on this post?

Well, you're going to have to forgive me anyway as we move on...

Here's this week's jewel in the crown. Remember here at the church of praise give a mark out of ten for agreement or disagreement, even if you've never heard of the bugger.

This week my little beauties we've got a real treat for you ("Did you know that this little fella contains more vitamin C in it than a 100 oranges?")...

It can only be:

Prayer No.10: Major Les Hiddins (AKA Bush Tucker Man)

Yes, he's a Major incase you didn't know and was well versed in all things army like, although I don't think he ever killed a Illawarra Plum in cold blood/ juice without good reason to..

He was Steve Irwin, Ray Mears and your favourite Uncle rolled into one.. Not literally though, that would be hideous...

He made a boat from the bark of a tree and then proceeded to travel across croc infested waters.. What a brave man he was..

Some Bush Tucker Man quotes:

"You're probably wondering why I swam so fast across that river back there. The answer is that it's full of crocs!"

"All these creeks are named after people who died in the area. What I can't understand is how a bloke could die with so much tucker around." (points at yummy looking sand to illustrate.)

"See this little bloke? He's a Bush Almond. Superb Tucker! He's got 3 times the energy content of beef steak."

Think of this gem of a late 80's/ early 90's Australian TV import; and you may immediately think of other beauts such as "Home & Away" when it was worth watching, the superb yet crap lyricist "Pugwall" and the supernatural lighthouse- based antics of "Round the Twist"- ah, glory days...

Finally, he made the most fascinating and interesting programmes about life in the outback, showing us that it wasn't such a hostile and barren environment after all and that you could actually just, go travelling on your own and, well just survive and have a pretty good time...

"Can I have some water Les? I've been travelling for days and my lips have turned to sand. Cheers." - B + C + W x.

Thursday, May 05, 2005


Pirate Fact Ahoy!

Above: A pirate, yesterday.

Have you ever wondered why pirates wear eyepatches?

You know, you see them about town; drinking in pubs, playing with their pirate children in parks, buying pirate baguettes in patisseries and renting out pirate videos from blockbuster (sorry) and you start to wonder, why do they all wear eyepatches?

(Ok; I'm only kidding about seeing pirates in real life. Everyone knows they don't exist on mainland UK in this century) Well I just read on the back of a packet of balti chicken crisps that they wore the eyepatches because..

it helped cover up and make their eyes go very sensitive to the light so that at night they could navigate easier because their 'telescope eye' would be attuned to the night sky / dark conditions.

You see, it wasn't all bottles of rum and below deck buggery! These guys had purpose.


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?