Again, it's time (Doesn't Sunday come around quick these days?)..

Marks out of ten please...

Worship the great, the good- yada yada - ah, you know the rest, surely...

This time we pay the mostest respectest to a wonderful wonderful guy, but sadly in 1980, at the under-ripe age of 54, also a long time dead;

Prayer No.9: Peter Sellers

Generally a comic genius and a versatile actor within a myriad of roles...

A founding member of The Goons alongside Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe, and changed the face of British comedy forever..

A clown prince of impressions and characters. Let's not forget (How could we?!?) his character Dr. Strangelove in the film Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb who suffered from highly watchable yet worrying bouts of nazi indoctrinated dramatics..

So good was he, they did make a film about him starring the fabulous Geoffrey Rush.. go and see it please...

And, did I mention a certain French policeman?

Now.. what was his name...?

Clouseau!

"Thank you Mr. Sellers, you worked damn hard at your craft." -B + C + W x.

And I don’t carry around a massive sign with me that says:

“IF YOU ARE AN UTTER BERK – PLEASE COME AND SPEAK TO ME”

So why do so many of them do precisely that? I seem unable to avoid them.

Take the other evening for example. I’m ordering from the Chinese takeaway down the road.

Crumb – “Good evening, can I place an order please?”
Berk – “What would you like?”
Crumb – “Just a beef curry and boiled rice please, that’s it”
Berk – “Anything else?”
Crumb – “well, no, as I said, that’s it”
Berk – “Is that for delivery or are you going to collect”
Crumb – “I’ll collect it thanks”

*lengthy pause*

Crumb – “Hello?”
Berk – “You’re going to collect?”
Crumb (confused) – “Sorry, yes – I understood that was one of the options?”
Berk – “okay”
Crumb – “How long will that be?”
Berk (ignoring me) – “Would you like the rice and curry mixed together?”

*another pause*

Crumb – (feeling as though I must have dreamt that last question) – “Eh?”

*another pause*

Berk – “Would you like the rice and curry mixed together?”
Crumb (perplexed) – “NO! Of course I wouldn’t!”
Berk – “About 10 minutes”

So I think I’m going to get the sign made. It’s a bit of reverse psychology. If I had such a sign maybe the morons would get the hell away from me.

The very first pint I bought I spilt.

The very first album I ever had was on cassette. It was ‘Jive Bunny and The Mastermixers’

The very first car I drove was an FSO Polonez.

The very first single I ever bought was on vinyl. It was ‘Just Say No by the cast of Grange Hill’

The very first goldfish I won died in the bag on the way home from the fairground.

The very CD I owned was a gift. It was ‘Feels Like Heaven’ by Urban Cookie Collective


All in all, I probably should have given up by now. But I’m a fucking fighter...

Grrrrrr

It's Sunday, you're in church, you've put on your Sunday best and the roast is in the oven.

The church is the Ministry of Sound, your Sunday best is a string vest, knickerbockers, a purple felt trilby hat and a whistle; and the oven isn't even turned on. You are ready and sorted beatch!

Time now to unwind, lose yourself again to look at the great and good who have paved the way for the rest of us to live, love and survive in this great wide world today.

It's a celebration, a party and a final pat on the back to those who we once loved, still love and will carry on loving.

This week, it's the time of:

Prayer No.8: Eric Estrada

He embodies 70’s cool, along with Bruce Lee, Shaft, The Flumps and Leo Sayer.

CHiPS- California Highway Patrol is how we all really know of his fame. Apart from a few dodgy erotic made for TV movies, it is the aforementioned disco- era hour long police drama to which he is best remembered.

Each episode of CHiPS chronicled the highs and lows of state highway policing. Yeah, that’s right, men on motorbikes going up and down a road saying “Hey, he’s speeding, let’s give him a ticket” or “Lookie there, she’s gonna have to have her brake lights fixed, step on it!” or “My, that van is full of terrorists”.

He played a character called ‘Ponch’ Poncherello and he was fairly cool in comparison to his logical, rational and square cut companion Jon Baker. I mean, which name even sounds cooler to you? Exactly.

Erm.. that's about it. -Oh, and he does loads of cameos in other films and TV programmes, most notably "Scrubs" on E4 last week.

"Cheers Eric, you're a boy." B + C + W x.

Praise be! Holy fucking shit! It's time once again to get our heads down, get out the songbooks and rejoice, rejoice, rejoice in someone who has done their turn in life for the greater good.

This week, the saviour comes in the form of a rejected children's toy, thrown away like a peice of rubbish at the toy factory, but which earns magic powers soon enough by a god and becomes a crimefighter.. you know.. like you do.

(Marks out of ten if you could, feedback is what it's all about...)

Give it up at the back now as we unveil this week's weekend warrior, none other than;

Prayer No. 7: Superted

Ok, ok, so he's a fucking cartoon..

And maybe not a lot of you have heard of him..

But he was a super hero teddy bear who was initially chucked away from the toyshop which made him only to get picked up by Mother Nature who gave him extraordinary powers. I mean, how cool is that?..

The best bit was when he changed from your average talking teddy bear to your average flying, bullet-proof talking teddy bear via a simple "unzip my fur to reveal a superted costume beneath" trick...

He had a friend called Spotty, who came from another planet, and was invariably spotty...

Superted's enemies consisted of a mad texan who resembled the 'Bad' in "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly", a big fat clueless lump of a man and a walking talking skeleton who was as intimidating as a warm comfy sofa. So; a texan, a fatty and some animated calcium...

Vocal talents were supplied by such greats as Derek "Head and tails, knees and toes, knees and toes" Griffiths and the late, great Jon Pertwee. Can't go wrong there then...

Superted was made by S4C, the Welsh version of Channel 4 which I used to watch all the time (because I couldn't get Channel 4 in deepest darkest North Wales in the mid '80s)...

Superted, you're super! (thanks for asking)- B + C x.

I'm growing a beard, I'm 8 days in.

I decided that, at the age of 26, it was time.
I'm going to look like a cock, but I needed to find out for sure.

I have never experienced itching like this. It's dreadful.

Matthew Kelly is a moron. He has endured this and survived.
If I wimp-out, Matthew Kelly is more of a man than me.

I cannot allow this.

I need air.

A place to breathe, a place to be.
A beer, a comfy chair and someone
To please sort out my hair.
As chaos reigns and nothing's clear
I need friends around to give me cheer.
Thoughts rampaging, no control.
Need to be cool but I don't think so.
Time to think and lift my head
And wonder why I ever said
The things that came down with a thud
And clouded beauty with thick mud.
Time to listen, time to be
Time for you and time for me
Although I meant the things I said
I never meant to mess your head.
They are all true but shouldn't be
An ordeal for either you or me.
Will that day come? I do not know.
For a chance to be, a chance to show.
A truth, a hope, a love, a plan
But not until the crumb discovers the man.


Can you believe this blog has won an award for best manly blog?? What a tart. I'll be trying to sell you perfume in a minute.

It's been a fair few weeks since any post dedicated to the great and the good was published.

In all fairness there's been a shitload of camping going on from A to B and then on to C, travelling the land up dale and down valley, from coast to coast, town to town and pole to poledancer. There's been drama, comedy, pathos, tragedy and redemption. And that was just me and my emotions in the bathroom the morning after a particularly heavy night out in Newquay.

And so, back to the usual arena of praise. The Sunday Saviour. Who will be put on high this week? Whose too cool for school? (Talking of which, I'm going back tomorrow after a two week hiatus- damn!) Who shall be looked upon with the ultimate online worship imaginable?

Why it's none other than..

Prayer No. 6: Bill Murray

In a parallel universe somewhere, he's my uncle, maybe even my dad.

He was a founding member of Saturday Night Live, along with John Candy, John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd to name but three.

Ghostbusters.

He has a way of making anything funny. Anything, from tending to a golf course (Caddyshack), watching a toaster dance (Ghostbusters 2) or just deciding whether or not to blow up a speedboat or simply steal it (The Life Aquatic).

He is genuinely funny

I probably could go on but I would probably write a thesis on him, so I'll stop.

"Carry on being so damn funny Mr. Murray" B + C x."

(..I really could go on and rename this site "The Mighty Murray"..)

Ok, we've both been slack sonsabitches of late.. I posted last Thursday and there's TWO of us doing this blog. Something's not right..

Truth is, both Bonobo and Crumb have been doing a fair bit of merry jaunting around this sceptred isle of late and haven't had the access to a 'pewter which makes it difficult to blog. Plus we've visited parts of the UK who stil think the biro is an invention of "The horn-ed one", so, ya know..

About this time every year since 2003 (A long three year tradition I'm sure you'll agree) we go Extreme Camping, whereby we usually camp at quite a cold time of year andget drunk on most nights, not eating much and waking up in a very minging state. It's called Extreme Camping because usually, amazing life affirming events take place, like downing a pint when bitterly hungover or sucking on urinal disinfectant blocks.

Also, in last year's Extreme Camping, we followed the A39 from it's humble beginnings on the outskirts of Bath into the outskirts of Falmouth. As we went along we chronicled the journey by taking pictures of road signs which said "A39". Also, as we travelled down in the car, at random moments one or both of us wouls scream "A39" at the top of our voices to remind us what the trip was about.

This year we decided to do the A30, or the "Great South West Road" as it is described from it's start at a roundabout near Heathrow. We drove all the distance from the start all the way to Land's End in Cornwall where the aforementioned road then finishes. Then we went back up to Newquay to camp it up for a few days..

Miles wise, we did about 250 odd and felt every single one. It was an epic.

But we still shouted out "A30" at certain points in the journey. And I'll be posting the pictures soon so that you can all see our journey.

But it was Extreme in parts, but I didn't manage to suck any disinfectant this time which was a bit of a wounder I must say. Anyway, we're both tired an it's time for a nice sleepy.

That's all for now folks, take hair. X.